This memoir is a work in progress. It contains some of the stories of my life as a teacher and songwriter, reflecting back on my college experiences, travel adventures, and the philosophical and spiritual ideas that have influenced me. I tend to be a private person, so it took a lot of work for me to write this in order to share with you. It's also pretty long, so please take breaks if you decide to explore each link and follow the threads to the end. Hope you enjoy it!

Where my life story begins:

One version of the story begins with a childhood experience. When I was 11, one of my piano compositions, titled The Ghost, became a national finalist in the Reflections Arts Program. This was a contest that prompted students to write on a designated theme for that year: "Suddenly you turn around, and..." I remember listening to the other two finalists' songs, thinking that they were so much more technically complex and "classical" than mine. How could my song have placed among them? I felt grateful, yet somehow unworthy. But my family suggested that the contest wasn't about being complex or imitating great composers; my piece won because it was original and fit the year's theme perfectly. It was theatrical! The Ghost resonated with everyone who heard it because they felt and experienced the meaning of the song. While it would take many more years for me to understand the value in reaching people through song, this was the start. I continued writing songs from that point onward, mostly in private, but always seeking to learn and improve.
A childhood drawing of my Grandma's house: an inspiration for the Providence musicals

How music led to musical theatre:

In ninth grade, my English teacher, Mr. Linn, mentored me in writing a play for our school to perform. I called it House of Providence and wrote 14 original songs to make it a musical. Mr. Linn guided me tremendously in my intellectual development as well as in acquiring sklls in theatre and storytelling. He inspired me to appreciate the beauty of art and the richness of life. In writing House of Providence, I developed a talent for creating songs to express characters and their inner thoughts and feelings. At that point, I became interested in singing and acting and performed in a few community shows, including Fiddler on the Roof and Les Miserables. I continued writing songs and even recorded a few. But I didn't end up pursuing music or theatre as a career after I graduated.

Why I didn't pursue music right away:

Growing up, my traditional sense of responsibility (that is, the belief that I must always keep to the "tried and true" path) always seemed to restrict my creative ambitions. In order to be a high achiever, I felt I needed to apply my best energy towards schoolwork rather than creative passions. The things I was naturally good at--music and math--became less of a priority, while my harder subjects--English, history, Spanish, and interpersonal subjects like theatre and debate--took priority. I was an auditory learner with a unique way of processing event narratives, and I struggled to no end with reading comprehension (this was a strange paradox since I was a deep thinker). As a result, I developed a relentless drive to learn to read and write in an academic way. Deep analysis of language was key. Thus, instead of music, I pursued my interest in linguistics and language learning, particularly learning Spanish. My college years were rigorous and yet highly enjoyable. Intellectual achievement was the necessity that became my passion.
A library in Mexico City

Why I became a teacher:

I had never actually considered a career in music or theatre; teaching seemed much more viable. Plus, working with children was something I genuinely loved and was good at, and public edutation was something I believed in (still do!). I had volunteered in elementary classrooms all throughout high school and college. Not to mention, my intellectual successes as a student gave me a hard-earned skill set that I wanted to share with others. Going to graduate school for my teaching credential was the logical path. All the while, I struggled to speak Spanish. (I had to get a degree in it for that very reason!) I really worked hard at learning to communicate, empathize, and acquire a cultural framework that was not native to me. Through this struggle, I found my vocation and cause: teaching Spanish to middle school students in order to help them gain a deeper understanding of the world and communicate with people of different of cultural and linguistic backgrounds. This was my goal, my dream, the inspiration for my teaching career.

What resulted from teaching:

Through teaching, I gained many valuable insights about the world and about myself. Though I primarily taught Spanish, I was also able to teach drama and mentor students in writing plays. I loved this role, not only because I was giving back to the world in the same way Mr. Linn had mentored me, but also because I got to write songs for those plays. So, my dream began to shift: I wanted to help my students develop their latent abilities and write and to shine in the spotlight, just as I had done when I created House of Providence​. And yet, to become a master teacher, I had to learn to relate with all kinds of students, particularly those who had different abilities than I had, and to teach according to their true needs rather than the lessons I wanted to give. For this reason--and perhaps it was another passion born of necessity--I constantly put myself in positions of social challenge, wherein I had to expand my comfort zone and learn how different people tick. During summer breaks, I travelled the world, met people, experienced new cultures, learned new languages, and brought back what I learned into the classroom to share with my students and colleagues.
Pyramid of the Sun, Teotihuacan, Mexico

How I became a Christian:

If you didn't know I was a Christian, well, that's because I became one recently. But you may know about my lifelong passion for philosophy and the study of world religions. I read the Bible at age 14, the Bhagavad Gita at age 16, and from then on was drawn to writers such as Hermann Hesse, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Deng Ming-Dao. I was involved with the New Thought movement and the Unity church for several years. During summer breaks, I travelled the world in search of knowledge, wisdom, and Truth. With the K'iche' Mayans in Guatemala, I studied the K'iche' language and investigated ancient indigenous spiritual traditions. With the Greek Orthodox monks and pilgrims in northern Greece, I participated in the monastic and liturgical way of Christ. During two years in Seattle, I trained in the Taoist martial art of Ba Gua Zhang and subsequently travelled to west-central China to internalize the Tao with the mountain mystics. All the while, I kept extensive journals of what I learned and experienced.

In 2019, during my soul-searching sabbatical from teaching, I reached the end of the road. There was an uneasiness in my heart, and that uneasiness was called "hubris." The more one learns, the more one learns that one doesn't know. I was forced to acknowledge that my belief system, no matter how hard I try to make it look beautiful and complete, would have messy gaps and holes and errors. My quest for "spiritual knowledge" would never end until I surrendered the search itself to a Higher Power. From a certain perspective, I don't really understand much of anything, nor do I think I am qualified to counsel anyone on making life decisions or on what to believe. I just live by trial and error and let my errors inform me of how I am doing. After much meditation and reasoning, I returned to the Christian tradition of my ancestors. I discovered that the best way I can honor God as I am, was to go back and rededicate myself to teaching children and teenagers. In 2020 I accepted a position as a high school language arts teacher, which is where you find me now.
Playing the Bolivian charango at Point Ruston, Tacoma

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To read the whole memoir (it's pretty long), start by clicking the button below (it takes you to College Years). You can follow each page to the end and advance to the next page by clicking one of the buttons at the bottom. Additionally, the links embedded in the text will lead you to other topics, or to outside websites for further background information.

Also, keep this caution in mind: Everyone has their own perspective. As a Christian, I acknowledge before God that I am bound by my limited beliefs and experiences. I hope that readers will think critically for themselves about what I have written. I would never want someone to believe in something from my perspective that they haven't discovered to be true for them. Life is a constant process of searching and testing:
Search me, God, and know my heart
Test me and know my anxious thoughts
See if there is any offensive way in me
And lead me in the way everlasting

Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)